What I hate about myself right now is that I know I’ve been hurt so badly but still, I continue doing the same. It’s like I never learned from my past mistakes - I kept on doing it all over again and all I want to do is cry myself to sleep. I’m a very emotional person and I don’t know how to handle myself. I want to give up again.
It’s been a week and two days since I participated UNITED’s Project G.R.E.E.N.S. - a mangrove planting activity in Inuburan in Naga City. Many organizations participated and I’m like part of the three organizations (IEcEP, UNITED, and OB).
I’m with Sharmaine again in the photo up there! She was my awesome buddy and I really had a great time to be with her again.
Me, again, with my ninja attire. Although it wasn’t that warm and sunny on that day, I feel the urge of putting my ninja attire because the glare of the sun rays are blocking me from seeing stuffs. I still don’t have a replacement for my eyeglasses that can turn into a sunglasses. Huhu.
When we got there in the project site, I did some little tour and did what my thing - to shoot some landscapes. I was overwhelmed by what I saw. The mangroves were so healthy and that the residents in that place are really taking care of them. See those kids up there? They were the ones who helped us in planting the mangroves stalk. I’m glad I’ve taken a photo of them!
The guy wearing a white shirt is my crush right now. LMAO.
I’ve never been so close with the sea again. Nostalgic memories, oh gosh. Anyways, Sharmaine and I did a heart-to-heart talk while we were busy walking on the shore with the waves splashing on our feet. It was, indeed, a great day!
And lastly, the UNITED!
This would probably my last activity in the first semester of this academic year. I hope I’ll participate more activity and outreach programs because that’ll be fun and I’ll get to meet new friends again. Mehehe.
Today, I went to school all happy, positive, and quite gloomy but that changed when I saw him together with another girl. Yeah, my mood changed when I saw Chester together with another girl. They both seemed to be happy and that, I guess, is a good thing. But really, I was hurt. Really hurt.
So I went to my classroom all sad and with a teary-eyes instead. It’s not every day that my blockmates see me jaded up like today. They always see the happy and positive side of me so I was really torn up inside on what to feel and what to do. It’s like I want to break something off because something inside me is breaking apart and falling apart as well.
But my mood changed again anyways. Most of my blockmates made me laugh. Their corny jokes made my morning and I love them for doing that. The efforts and all. Well, I guess I really need to see the bright side now. It’s funny how we get to have only one more week to go. I hope we’ll be together in the second semester of my college life. Oh, I wish and hope we’ll be together because what would I do when I’m feeling broken and jaded again? I think I might go on a suicidal mission again which is not good.
As usual, another late post. We’re already on the 9th of October and these pictures were taken on the 1st of October because I was tasked to pay my bills and alongside with that, I took some bliss of taking some pictures while I’m on it.
That other hand belongs to a blockmate of mine who willingly accompanied me for the whole afternoon’s shenanigans.
We also went window shopping to ease the stress that has been put to us. I mean, the stress I’m having because you know, we’re still frosh, we don’t get to have those nerve-wrecking assignments.
We also went to my paradise - Fullybooked. It’s been a very long while since I’ve visited Fullybooked. I miss the books and the smell of the coffee. Oh, I wish I could come back here soon and buy lots of book (not those books about engineering, please).
Started the first of October awesome and now’s the ninth day and I guess, October pretty went well. Will post more often now because I have a new laptop, yey!
How many times have I wasted my nights thinking about him? I mean, he already told me that he doesn’t like me back and that the feeling wasn’t mutual but why am I still holding on, hoping he would like and love me back the way I love him? I’ve abused my body- drinking alcohol once in every Saturday just to release all the anger inside me. I used to have anxiety attacks but they’re gone now, what is left is the depression I couldn’t take anymore.
Why? Why of all people, it was you who I want to be with? It was you whom I diverted my attention? It was you who was the reason of refusing other guys’ love because I thought you’d love me back?
I’ve been to too many heartbreaks and heartaches but this one is special. He was still that one guy whom I think of in the state that I lose myself already because I’m all so drunk. I still do think of him although I know it’ll just hurt to think about him. I want to free myself from you. I want to forget you.
In line with the very good news that our school produced yet another top notcher in the recent Electronics Engineer Licensure Examinations (first placer like omg), I’m here to appreciate my school’s awesome views during dusk and night. Because of the recent results, I’m more inspired to continue studying in this course. ECE is one of the hardest course, believe me or not, but I will strive hard to be successful in this field. Oh God, help me.
This is already a very late post because (1) I’m on a busy mode right now, (2) my computer kept on crashing because NVIDIA that’s why, (3) and lastly, my laziness of importing my photos from my phone to computer occurred and hit on me.
For the information of those people who are asking if what truly is my course, well, I’m taking up Bachelor of Science in Electronics Engineering (BSECE). Yes guys, I’m not an arts major student. So sad but it’s okay. LMAO. Anyways, I just have to have photos taken with the awesome background of the graffiti I saw a few walks from a mall. I swear, I was really amazed because I just saw that wall full of graffiti and from the moment on, my creative juices spilled on me.
A friend of mine and those are my test shots. I’m so in love with the background! Thank you, Converse.
Another friend whom I made my test shots. It’s so purdy, I swear!
The real story behind the photos: I was tasked to take a picture of a river near a mall which was supposed to be an entry for a River Summit (but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to join since I was so busy). Thus the reason why my friend up there, Nicel (the guy), brought a tripod with him. Sharmaine on the other hand, became my instant model. Both of them really took care of me since they’re both in their 20s and I’m like 17. So anyways, I’m glad I get to have mini-photoshoots with them. Yehey!
So yesterday, we had our Mathematics Departmental exams and it was really hard. It made me ask myself why I took up engineering for a course T.T Seriously, it made me want to jump off the fourth floor of the main building. It was that hard!
Anyways, it is Sunday today and supposed to be my rest day but unfortunately, I needed to pay my bills so I went out and paid for them.
A selfie because I can and a from where I stand shot too.
Random shot while I was inside SM City Cebu.
I also went to visit the Urban Coalition: Unity in Diversity Bike Exhibit and found Eugene’s bike. I’m not really into bikes since I don’t know how to ride one. Yep, my childhood wasn’t that awesome :(
And for the finale, went to eat. I’m supposed to be eating J.C.O. donuts but the line was so long so I had to look for another option. Luckily, I satisfied my cravings by eating halo-halo, clubhouse and burger!
Now I’m off to getting my Chemistry assignment done. When will I have a sweet vacay? Huhu.